Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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