party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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