dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
