he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
