bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
