dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
