apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
