Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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