ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
