i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
