don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
