yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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