tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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