i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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