then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
