Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
