chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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