I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
