He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
