I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
