Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
