I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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