Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
