Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
