I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
