ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
