Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
