the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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