He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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