i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
