mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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