I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
