Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
