im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
