Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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