its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
