One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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