Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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