My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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