the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
