Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
this hospital has no fireball
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
