Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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