apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
