Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize