Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
