Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
