She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
