she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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