my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
