How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
