he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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