had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
