All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
