His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
